February 13, 2023
Just earned your first Amazon gift card from Surf and don’t know what to do with it? Feel the need to buy a freakishly large gummy bear? Maybe you just like buying weird things off of Amazon. Don’t worry, we don’t judge – but we sure do enjoy talking about the crazy products you can find on Amazon. So, here are 10 unique items you can buy off Amazon using that fresh free gift card you earned using Surf:
Now, I could say something along the lines of “normal-sized gummy bears are old news blah bah”, but do I really need to? It’s a 5 pound gummy bear for $35. Need I say more?
Gummy bears aren’t your thing? Well, you could stay in the spirit of things with a shower curtain that illustrates a t-rex SURFing. Get it? Because of - you know - nevermind.
There’s really no way to spice this up. It’s a jar of nothing. No, there isn’t a surprise inside. No, it doesn’t hold the secret to where the TV remote always hides. It’s nothing. Zip. Nada. That’s it.
Lightsaber chopsticks AND a millennium falcon bottle opener? Forget everything your parents taught you - I am encouraging you to play with your food. Plus, who wouldn’t want to combine Star Wars with sushi?
What person wakes up one day and says, “You know what I’m going to do today, I’m going to create bacon-flavored cotton candy.” That’s a little odd. Unless… What if it actually - maybe, possibly - tastes good?
“You have to spend money to make money.” That’s what my mama always said. Is buying a rug with a picture of a $100 bill what she meant? No. So, does that saying apply here? Also, no. Am I just asking myself questions to deflect from the fact that you and I could be spending our money on something more useful? Probably.
“Hey, you. You’re finally awake.” You can’t tell me you don’t want to wake up to Ralof’s famous words every day. As a big fan of Skyrim myself, I may or may not be buying two of these later.
Remember when your dad used to yell at you for not holding the flashlight right? No matter where you moved it, it was always somehow in the wrong spot. Yeah, where were these gloves back then?
You can buy a desktop version of one of those car dealership inflatable, flailing men? Combine that with a funny-looking suit, a bushy mustache, and a willingness to upcharge on used cars and bam - you’re a regular old scam- i mean car salesman.
All of these years spent in school and I somehow never knew that marshmallow-only cereal existed. People said school was a scam, but I didn’t believe them until now. Sure, now I know that the War of 1812 was fought due to British violations over U.S. maritime rights, but - in the long run - does that really matter more than marshmallow cereal?